#21 - drops of jupiter

i have so much love for this beast.

and so much love for this song.

#20 - its like rain on your wedding day

Trust. Friends. How do you know who your real friends are, and who you can trust? How do you know that people wont let you down? Every decision we make could end up with us getting hurt. Its like knowing someone, being friends with them, really good friends, and then after spending a week with them, its like back to normal, not inviting you to things. Thats what i hate, i dont get invited to things, even people who have been friends with me for ages 'forget' to invite me to things. People keep secrets, even your closest friends can keep the little things that they think wont matter, but actually make all the difference. Sometimes i dont know what to do. Do i go out of my way and be enthusiastic and try and see all these people so they dont think im being the nasty one, or do i just give up and wait for all of them to think that they actually miss me and want to see me? I dont even know who to talk to anymore, because one person might tell another and who can i trust? All these little things that you hear build up a massive wall around you, blocking everyone out.

I just dont know anymore.

ACDD, i passed my theory and my exams, so that turned out to be a rather good day.

#19 - third time lucky

Tomorrow is a day i would like to skip, you know when eveyrone has a day they wish they could sleep through or somehow the day could magically dissapear, well tomorrow would be my day. It could turn out to be one of the best days, but on the other hand it could turn out to be one of the worst. I hate not knowing, the anticipation. Tomorrow morning i have my theory, for the third time, si maybe luck will be on my side. Tomorrow afternoon my results come out, which i could have failed which is likely, which therefore means i have to rethink next year and the rest of my life before septermber comes around. So if it were up to me i'd pass my theory and pass my exams, but we'll have to wait and see.

#18 - rochester

Abbi Joy Swindin and Samuel James Heyes. Two of my favorite people. They live like two hours away from me though, so im hoping to go and see them somepoint this summer :) they are amazing people, abbi is always there when i need to talk and caring for me, like another big sister. And sam is just so funny and always cheering me up and there if i need to talk. i do miss them both terribly, i havnt seen them in almost 3 weeks but hopefully it will change soon.

#17 - anything you can do i can do better

DALESDOWNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Its nearing to the end of my second week here, its gone so fast its crazyy. Week one was teens plus where i was a camper, it was amazing. great leaders, new friends, old friends, and some great times to be remembered. Week two is teens, where i am a leader, a junior leader because i am quite close to their age. A two year gap with the oldest ones, which is not a bad thing because in some situations i can rlate to them more than the older leaders. Teens is great, i love seeing youngsters expressing themselves through the things they do and the people they are with. Having a christian camp helps those who do not have many christian friends at home or are shy really enjoy and relate to others the same as them. Next week is maggots, kids camp which i have more responsibility as a leader. This week i have had two of my own dorms, a guy room and a gal room. I love reading them bedtime stories and listening to the amazing things they have to say about their days. its really encouraging to see them grow throughout the week in their relationships with God and their relationships with other people in the camp. Next year will be my last year as a camper, then its all about the leadinggg. Three weeks away is soo tiring im absolutely bombed out, but you gotta keep going to for the kids, else they wouldnt have me to be the coolest leader in the world ;) Cant wait till next yearrr!!!