#35 - we all wanna be famous

everybody wants to be on tv



do you want to be famous? what for? for being an actor? finding a medical cure? helping an old lady? being a model? singing?

who wants to be famous? and who just wants to be noticed? who just wants a little bit of recognition for who they are? who just wants to be loved and appreciated? and who actually wants to be famous?

#34 - happy families

This weekend all of the Goodalls are back together for a couple of days.

My sister is coming home tomorrow and my brother is coming home saturday becasue he's preaching at church on sunday.

So all around a good weekend ahead i think.

#33 - we must go

We must go.

We must go, live to feed the hungry, stand beside the broken.

We must go.

#32 - humbility

#31 - Nick Pitera

A whole new world.

Not only can he sing well, he can sing like the opposite sex, he is super talented.

Jealous.

#30 - when all you wanted was to be wanted

2011.

The year 2011.

The year 2011 should be a rather good one.

In the year 2011 i leave worthing college, last year at dalesdown as a camper, i start something new, and my future begins.

In the year 2011 i could either go to northbrook to do a 2 year foundation course in fashion photography.

In the year 2011 i could go to southampton solent to do photography.

In the year 2011 i could start working in an office.

In the year 2011 I become me.

The year 2011.

2011.

#29 - from your father

Love this.

It made me happy.

Im thinking about uni, maybe going away would be good for me? or staying home?

I'll have to wait and see if i get accepted to where i have applied, its all up to God now.

#28 - i am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white vale occasion

So many things running through my mind.
But today is the start of a new me, one who does college work, tidies her room, does work around the house, goes to bed before 12, gets up before 10, knows who her true friends are, and doesnt have time for those who arnt.
Im lazy, shy, weird, christian, sensitive, a push over.
Some of these things are staying and some are going.
People who dont appreciate me for who i am dont get to appreciate me at all.
Lately i find that i am making the effort to see friends i adore, but it seems they dont like me as much, im just someone for them to see when their bored, or someone for them to see other friends through.
THE NEW ME STARTS NOW.

#27 - i put my new shoes on

i got some new shoes, i love then :)

#26 - drinking on cheap bottles of wine

saying things we havnt for a while

smiling but we're close to tears

i want to sit up talking all night, saying this i havnt ever said, but the one i want to talk to isnt here, and i dont think wants to talk to me

the script are hot, i love danny o'donoghue

#25 - rocket to the moon

I've found a new love.

I listen to them everyday.

Nick Santino, (age 22, rocket to the moon) will you marry me?

#24 - heartless

how often do you cry?

#23 - dont let the silence get you down

this song is totally me right now

i figured it out, i did, just need to do it now

if their your friends they share your vision

#22

:)

#21 - drops of jupiter

i have so much love for this beast.

and so much love for this song.

#20 - its like rain on your wedding day

Trust. Friends. How do you know who your real friends are, and who you can trust? How do you know that people wont let you down? Every decision we make could end up with us getting hurt. Its like knowing someone, being friends with them, really good friends, and then after spending a week with them, its like back to normal, not inviting you to things. Thats what i hate, i dont get invited to things, even people who have been friends with me for ages 'forget' to invite me to things. People keep secrets, even your closest friends can keep the little things that they think wont matter, but actually make all the difference. Sometimes i dont know what to do. Do i go out of my way and be enthusiastic and try and see all these people so they dont think im being the nasty one, or do i just give up and wait for all of them to think that they actually miss me and want to see me? I dont even know who to talk to anymore, because one person might tell another and who can i trust? All these little things that you hear build up a massive wall around you, blocking everyone out.

I just dont know anymore.

ACDD, i passed my theory and my exams, so that turned out to be a rather good day.

#19 - third time lucky

Tomorrow is a day i would like to skip, you know when eveyrone has a day they wish they could sleep through or somehow the day could magically dissapear, well tomorrow would be my day. It could turn out to be one of the best days, but on the other hand it could turn out to be one of the worst. I hate not knowing, the anticipation. Tomorrow morning i have my theory, for the third time, si maybe luck will be on my side. Tomorrow afternoon my results come out, which i could have failed which is likely, which therefore means i have to rethink next year and the rest of my life before septermber comes around. So if it were up to me i'd pass my theory and pass my exams, but we'll have to wait and see.

#18 - rochester

Abbi Joy Swindin and Samuel James Heyes. Two of my favorite people. They live like two hours away from me though, so im hoping to go and see them somepoint this summer :) they are amazing people, abbi is always there when i need to talk and caring for me, like another big sister. And sam is just so funny and always cheering me up and there if i need to talk. i do miss them both terribly, i havnt seen them in almost 3 weeks but hopefully it will change soon.

#17 - anything you can do i can do better

DALESDOWNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Its nearing to the end of my second week here, its gone so fast its crazyy. Week one was teens plus where i was a camper, it was amazing. great leaders, new friends, old friends, and some great times to be remembered. Week two is teens, where i am a leader, a junior leader because i am quite close to their age. A two year gap with the oldest ones, which is not a bad thing because in some situations i can rlate to them more than the older leaders. Teens is great, i love seeing youngsters expressing themselves through the things they do and the people they are with. Having a christian camp helps those who do not have many christian friends at home or are shy really enjoy and relate to others the same as them. Next week is maggots, kids camp which i have more responsibility as a leader. This week i have had two of my own dorms, a guy room and a gal room. I love reading them bedtime stories and listening to the amazing things they have to say about their days. its really encouraging to see them grow throughout the week in their relationships with God and their relationships with other people in the camp. Next year will be my last year as a camper, then its all about the leadinggg. Three weeks away is soo tiring im absolutely bombed out, but you gotta keep going to for the kids, else they wouldnt have me to be the coolest leader in the world ;) Cant wait till next yearrr!!!

#16 - hey soul sister

Abbi Joy Swindin came see us on tuesday :) it was a lovely day. we said hello, we had a chat, we had some pizza, we went to see rosie, we were rude to girls, we got sweaty knee pits, and then we said goodbye. this was a good day, and there will be more abbi days to come this summer.

yayy :)

#15 - one more day

one more day of college. then the summer. im looking forward to late nights and late mornings. mid day showers. seeing friends. doing nothing. and doing my work when i want, not for the next day. looking forward to dalesdown, three amazing weeks of amazingness. teens plus, teens and maggots. looking forward to driving more. looking forward to looking nice becuase i want to, or looking skank becuase im not doing anything. looking forward to being free to take photos all the time. looking forward to experimenting with things. looking forward to it. just one more day.

#14 - good times

prom 2009 xxxx

#13 - 3 months

its only been 3 months, it seems like its been ages. but its only been three months. 12 weeks, 84 days, 2,016 hours, 230,960 minuts, 13,857,600 seconds. only 3 months without fostering, and its weird. i miss them. i didnt think i would, but i do, i dream about them, and i raelly hope they are getting on well. i was really looking forward to the quiet and space and tidy house. but i miss the toys and the crying and the laughing, the cuddles, the bedtimes, and the running around.

mum and dad come home tomorrow :) yayyyyyy

#12 - ordinary day

my mummy and daddy come home on thursday :)

i need to get a fathers day present.

i need to hoover, clean and wash the house.

the best days of your life start off as ordinary days, so who says today isnt the best day of your life? go out, go to college as normal, but dont be affraid to make it a better day by doing something different, or risky, or something you've wanted to do for ages, something spontanious.

just an ordinary day.

#11 - wall

this is my wall. i like it. i sit on it. so do other people. but its mine.
i sit here to think and to people watch, and think.

#10 - so we'll be grown ups, for a minute and admit that we're just not in it.

i didnt think it was possible to feel so alone yet so suffocated at the same time.

i found a dead bird under the table today, in my lounge, it stank.

i like...love plasters.

i miss my mum.

#9 - love hurts?

ill let you know.

#8 - too ugly to care?

I have some great friends, and they know me really well, and i can really be myself around them. But i find it so hard to be myself infront of new people or people i think might decide to leave. I talk to people online, then shut down when i talk to them in person, its like im scared or something. And i dont know what it is, i really like this person, but now im absalutely terrified that when i see this person im going to do something really stupid, or they're actually gonna think im weird, and im not going to be myself. Thats what ive got to work on, being more confident in myself to not care what other people think about me. I like this photo, because its me, looking really bad about to go to bed, but its me. Wearing a jumper that i love, which i wouldnt wear out because im scared people would judge me.

#7 - 99 facts all girls MUST know about guys?

http://www.facebook.com/pages/99-Facts-all-girls-MUST-know-about-guys/124763940870358?v=app_4949752878

What is with this? people think they can read guy and girls, just because they've been in rubbish relatioships? because they have loads of guy friends? i dont know if its true or not, but surely people cannot be certain that every single guy in the world is so predictable.

anyway,



i love this song. it so, beautiful. it makes me happy listening to it, reminds me that everywhere i look, no matter where i am, no matter what situation i am in, good or bad, no matter who i am with, Gods there, always, there for me, there for you. dont ever forget that.

#6 - collide

I love this song, i can listen to it over and over and never get tired of it. My friend Jemma showed it to me, im greatful :) dont you find it funny how songs can describe exactly how you are feeling, yet you cant posssibly explain it to anyone who asks because we become speachless.

Today became the time of revision, should have started before now, i only have 2 weeks 1 day, 15 days, 360 hours, 21,600 minutes, 1,296,000 seconds, until the day of my first exam. This is all time i need to spend revising, else i will fail my exams, which wont be good. My mum has banned me from watching desperate housewives on catchup until my exams are over. Im glad, because i watch about 2 or more a day which is bad.

Today is when my social life collided with revision.

#5 - dont cry

This is what came out of todays events. went to college, had to stop myself crying infront of my teacher and class in an exam, painted the rest of my room, went to mcdonalds, got my friends to draw pictures, got laughed at by my friends, had an awkward meeting with people i hardly know but spent time with once, had a friend who was upset and moody but wouldnt let us know why, came home and took pictures of picture.
Trying not to cry is the hardest thing, whether your crying becuase your happy, something so frustrating has just happened and you cant even fix it, someone has hurt you so much you cant see a way out of the pain, or just because life seems to much to bare. Crying is good, sometimes i think people dont show their emotions enough, we try and hide how we really feel so that people wont ask questions.

#4 - This is the truth

#3 - if tomorrow never comes

What if tomorrow never comes? What would you do today? what would you say? what would you do? who would you see?

I just absalutly love this song, makes me think, and worry, and be happy, all at the same time.

#2 - you're beautiful

I took this photo today, and i love it, simple, pure, truth, me, you.

#1

This picture makes me happy. This is my beautiful friend Lydia, she's an amazing friend, so beautiful and she doesnt know it. I took this photo for my photography exam project and i absalutly love it, just makes me happy :)

4 weeks 2 days. 30 days. 720 hours. 43,200 minutes. 2,592,000 seconds. until may 28th. until i have no work to do, no revision to do, and no obligations to get up in the morning. no alarms going off at 7am, no rushing to get to college on time, no late night essay writing, no early morning revision, no reason to look nice every day, no worrying about what i look like. 2,592,000 seconds.