#42

If you could be any animal what would you be and why?

A bear because you could be fat and hairy.

#41 - the simple life

So yesterday i deleted my facebook.

i was thinking about it, and i wasnt going to so that i could keep in touch with those who live far away and things like that. But then i thought, if people wanted to keep in touch with me, then they would either have my number or they would find a way to keep in touch.

so im the girl with no facebook. how many people can say that?

#40

but that feeling can change instantly.

#39 - invisibility

Do you ever wish you could just pack up and move, and start a whole new life where no-one knows you and you could become a whole new person. The past couple of weeks i felt like that, as if i could jsut dissapear and no-one would actually notice.
But today i realised that i have so many people who love me, church family and friends and so many different people who appreciate me for the weird thing i am.

All i have to do is climb a tree, get over the crowd, and take Jesus home.

#38 - the unknown

Usually im not one to be organized, i go with the flow and im quite spontanious from day to day. But when it comes to planning your furture, id like to know whats going to happen. Its scary to think that i dont have a clue what im going to be doing in September. Having applied to two places and after months only hearing back from one, and not the one you wanted to hear back from, things just explode in my mind. Got a portfolio viewing from one place, so i could be moving away next year? or do i stay home and travel? I had it all planned out in my head, but things never happen the way you want them too. So now, im taking one day at a time, making the most of the things i do each day because really you never know when they might go. So many people say that you should say what you think or feel becasue you may never get another chance, but who actually does speak everything they feel and think? Like the John Mayer song 'say' i wish i had the courage to say things i wanted to, i admire people who dont care what people think and say the things that everyone is thinking, or the ones that go out on a limb and say their true feelings just to get knocked down, but is that a bad thing? Getting knocked down is all part of learning? I wouldnt know, i dont get anywhere close enough to get knocked down.
Next month ill be 18. Id quite like to stay this age forever please, no more responsibility, no more bills, no more things to worry about, just the simple life of a 17 year old? but life is never simple.

#37 - fake a smile

how often do we actually tell people how we feel? we all go through out day being polite asking people how they are, but how many of us actually care how they are? or are we simply being polite? we all put on a fake smile and say hello, even on the crap days we are all 'fine'

i dont think ive told anyone how i feel in ages, its always im fine, im okay.

no-one is fine, no-one is okay.

its just who can you talk to? who is actually asking how you are becasue they care and who is asking to be polite?

sometimes people might want to cry, but they cant because they dont know who to turn to, some people might not have friends, some people dont have friends who they can tell absalutely everything to.

one day that girl who is always fine is going to stop smiling, stop being strong, stop being happy, and let the tears fall and just cry becuase she wants to. when someone asks her how she is she is going to break down because she has been fine for too long.

#36

so basically ive had a crap day.